Voice Male

Lately, I've found myself getting irritated with the boy when he speaks to me. But somehow, I've known it isn't him, it's me. He isn't doing anything unusual or saying anything unusual. But something about him is definitely rubbing me the wrong way. Am I overtired? Is it hormones? I just don't know. Then suddenly, yesterday, it occurred to me exactly why I'm perturbed. His voice has changed and the new voice is not familiar to me yet. I neither know it nor love it yet. And it's silencing his "real" voice.

We recognized that his voice was cracking and changing over the past few months. But now, I think, the changeover is complete. My child's voice is gone for good and I miss it. I don't just miss it in that nostalgic, "oh he's growing up" way. I miss it in more like a little part of my heart is broken kind of way. I loved his voice. I cherish every secret he told me in that voice, every joke he made, every cute, crazy little thing he ever said. I find myself wondering what I have recorded, if anything, that I can play back so I never forget it. If I think about this too long, I can bring myself to tears. I'll never forget him singing "Where is Love" from Oliver for an audition. He carries a tune well and I've never heard it sung better and now I'll never hear it again. Generally, I've been all for his getting bigger, faster, stronger and smarter. But this little change has tripped me up.

I love male voices, but I've never been a fan of male teen voices. They tend to sound monotone and tinny to me. The association is there with goofy, awkward teenage boys I have known and that is not how I see my boy or want to see him. Now that I realize what I've been reacting to, though, I can get back to taking the boy at his word rather than unconsciously reacting to his voice!