Seconds later, she passed by her cart with something in her hands and asked an older man further down the dairy aisle in a loud, fever-pitched way, "CAN I GET IT? CAN I GET IT? Okay, there was something going on there. But I was more surprised still by his response. In a gruff, gravelly voice, he replied, unnecessarily meanly, "NO! She tried to make her case. But he still thundered, NO, in response.
I found this jarring. Why can't a grown woman in her late 20s or early 30s, whatever her circumstances, choose her own food. Destitute didn't seem to be an issue here--they were well dressed and had lots of other things in their cart. It bothered me to hear her beseech him like a plaintive child and it irked me to hear him shut her down like a nasty tyrant. But you know how it is, you pick up your yogurt (soy and not soy) and carry on.
A few aisles later, we meet again. This time she's carrying soda. She starts out normally, "Mom likes this." But suddenly, she raises her voice like before and in the exact same insistent, almost frantic way, implores him, "CAN I GET IT? CAN I GET IT? Predictably now, he responds, "NO!" Throughout the entire exchange, neither of them has actually looked at the other. And, although they are practically yelling, their faces register no emotion. Of the three of us, I am the only one who is upset!
This, I concluded, must be normal communication for them. I realize that they probably perform this act at least once in every aisle, every time they shop. He is inured to her pleas and she to his refusals. Tones that I would find alarming and hurtful do not seem to have the same effect on either of them. From the number of items in the cart, I surmise that he must sometimes say yes. I wish I had heard that at least once to know for sure.
4 comments:
Why did she have to ask permission in the first place? Weird world out there.
I love reading your blog! I have to say that some of the most uncomfortable moments are when you overhear words that strike a nerve, seem cruel and make you want to say something and intervene somehow. Of course it's easiest and usually best to walk away and stay out of other people's business....there are two sides to every story....but the Mother in me always wants to advocate for the small child who is being screamed at, or even worse, hit, from a person (usually their Mom, who looks like she has reached her breaking point at that moment). Part of me can relate to the Mom, the other part of me wants to tell her to take a deep breath, and try to relax...this too, shall pass.
When I first read this, I felt bad for the girl. But then I started thinking about it, and now I don't think I do. Why would she keep asking if he kept saying no? Why not just buy it for herself? Was she mentally challenged?
It is probably a simple explanation, maybe mentally challenged, maybe a disease of the heart or diabetes that prohibits certain foods, maybe all of the above....but isn't it just a little more fun to not know the answer and create all kinds of ild stories in your head..........
Post a Comment